30

My Thoughts On Turning 30
Madewell Blouse | BLANK NYC Jacket | DL 1961 Jeans | Hinge Mules | Vera Bradley Bag
Madewell Blouse | BLANK NYC Jacket | DL 1961 Jeans | Hinge Mules | Vera Bradley Bag

Well you guys, I’ve officially been 30 for a whole entire month. I wasn’t really mentally ready to turn 30 at all. I loved 29, I loved being in my 20s, and turning 30 was giving me a major complex.  From still being single and not having a cookie cutter job and traditional retirement plan, it made me feel super confused about my future. I get it, I love what I do every day. It’s crazy that I can call this blog my full time job and get to travel (I’m actually in London today, more on that to come), do fun things and be my own boss. But as some of you freelancers, bloggers or maybe anyone whose current situation doesn’t look like what they always had in mind, it’s also extremely stressful. This can wear on you with the constant comparison and self doubt, or at least it does for me at times

At a traditional day job your future is a little more clear and clean cut. You know when your next paycheck is coming and that your evaluation will likely result in a raise. You know that you’ll probably work your way up the ladder if you work hard. But what I do, there’s no knowing what tomorrow brings. And there’s no knowing if what I’m doing today, like this crazy trip to London, is going to benefit my business or not.  Or why I was chosen and not someone better? There’s no rule book for this and figuring it all out can be a little overwhelming at times.

So yes, turning 30 for me for some reason made me really freaked out. I thought by now I’d have all these things like a house with a yard for Pork, a husband and a 401K plan that was starting to get pretty darn full. I’m trying to ignore the expectations I for some reason set for myself (thank you mainstream media I guess?) and appreciate all the amazing things in my life. Because it is just that. I worked hard and created a life that rules, and I thank my family, my friends and my readers for that because that’s a good part of the reason why it does. But the freelance life is stressful and it’s a constant game of self doubt. Without having a bonus structure or a promotion on the horizon, I just have to figure it out myself and that ain’t easy.  

Why am I getting all deep today? Because I think I desperately need a reminder to stop with the self doubt and embrace 30. Embrace the cool job I get to do, the great friends and support group I’ve developed over the years; plus the fact that I’m healthy, happy and am fortunate for this life. I started reading Mark Manson’s book The Subtle Art of Not Giving A Fuck and one of the main takeaways I’ve learned so far, is that solving one problem creates new ones. They’re better problems to have of course. I no longer have the problem of dealing with a 40 hour a week day job AND running My Style Vita and The Blog Societies. And all while trying to stay afloat in terms of sanity. But now I have the problem of how do I take this to the next level and what does the future look like. New problems, but I guess they’re much better ones to have since I solved those pesky previous ones. 

So my 2017 and turning 30 goal, is to not give a fuck. And I’ve always had that sort of mentality to an extent, but it’s time to get serious about it.  About not giving a fuck about what my today looks like or what tomorrow does either. Because it looks a lot different than what I ever imagined and that doesn’t make it a bad thing. Sure it makes it a little scary because it’s still all so unknown, but you see that’s a good problem to have.

8 Comments | February 20, 2017
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8 thoughts on “30

  1. Heather

    As a new business owner, I can totally relate. For 14 years, I had the security of my Macy’s job – where I actually met you- was happy. But I had dreams of opening a resale fashion store and now that I have done that, I sometimes ask myself if I did the right thing. I no longer have the health benefits, 401k plan, bonus structure and set paydays because as a new business- everyone else must get paid before you. And if there is anything leftover, then you get paid. Thanks for posting this. I need reminders that yes, I did the right thing! Also, since leaving Macy’s 3 years ago, I am so impressed how your blog and following has exploded. Congrats!

    Reply
  2. Lauren

    Well you already know how I feel about this one – but in case you forgot…you are KILLING it and giving me all sorts of inspiration and motivation per usual.

    Excited to join in on your 2017 goal 🙂

    Cheers lady!

    xx,
    Lauren
    FashionablyLo

    Reply
  3. Britney

    I love this. All of it. You look amazing in this outfit. And for someone who’s approaching 30, you’re making it look good. I have mixed feelings about my 30’s (I’ll turn 29 later this year, so I’m hot on your tail). It seems like a big number, but at the same time, I’ve heard some really great things about that decade. I’ve had people tell me they loved their 30’s so much. Our 20’s are still a little about figuring out who we are, and what we want out of life. Our 30’s are for feeling comfortable and confident in who we are. Part of me is really looking forward to that. Either way, you look awesome in red, and I love those mules with this outfit. Have fun in London town!

    Reply
  4. Taylor - Lights Camera Catwalk

    Phew girl, I feel you. I feel like I am constantly being looked at crazy that I graduated college and didn’t head into the stereotypical office job. Instead, I decided to follow a passion and look how it’s turned out! My mom always tell me to go all in or nothing. You definitely did that and it’s so inspiring! You are killing it and should be so proud of what you’ve built!

    PS- Loving this entire look!

    Xx Taylor
    http://lightscameracatwalk.com

    Reply
  5. Sherri

    I love this post! And you’re doing great, girl. I’m 36 and my life doesn’t look a lot like I expected. But, there’s a huge amount of JOY in just realizing that life is messy and out of our hands sometimes. I’m trying to learn to embrace the mess. 🙂 (PS I totally look at your life, and think, she’s awesome, gets to travel, blog full-time and it’s easy for me to feel envious of that freedom! Happy 30th! It really does only get better…you have so many things to look forward to, which is awesome!)

    Reply
    1. Jessica Post author

      Awe thanks so much for the sweet words. Not everyone’s life appears as it is! My dog has spent more time with my parents this year than me and that breaks my heart! Always new problems with everything that changes and you just have to deal with them.

      Reply

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